Real Life Dental Humor

A patient asked me if I would give his father, who lived in a nursing home, a cleaning. Of course, I said sure. On the day of the appointment this patient wheels his father into the office in a wheelchair. The father is wearing his pajamas, slippers, and a bathrobe. "He didn't feel like getting dressed" says the son. "No problem" I reply. The hygienist gives him the cleaning and reports to me that home care is completely non-existent. I take the son aside and explain to him that he needs to follow-up with the nursing home regarding his father's oral health. Thinking he would help me, the son goes into the hygiene room and yells "Dad, you better start brushing your teeth and taking better care of them or else the dentist is going to have to pull out all of your teeth and give you dentures... and they cost $25,000 each!!!" The father looks up at the both of us and says "That's O.K., I've got the money". True story! - Dr. Kenneth G.

A middle aged female patient that we had seen before called in with a toothache. After some negotiation, she scheduled to see us the following day. We tried to get her in that day, but for some reason, she just couldn't make it. The next day she called and canceled. The reason? Her tooth was hurting too badly to see a dentist about it! Go figure! - Dr. Bob K.

This took place in the early 80's before we wore gloves. I had a terrified Chinese patient in the chair who did not speak a word of English. She looked up at me like a deer caught in the headlights and there was nothing I could do or say to put her at ease. As we were about to begin, I noticed that my assistant had forgotten to bring a bur block so she went to our sterilization area and used a forcep to remove a burblock from a dry heat sterilizer and brought it back to the operatory and handed it to me, not mentioning that the metal based bur block was about 300 degrees! Needless to say, you could almost hear the tissue on my thumb sizzle, and, with my terrified patients head in my lap, I let out a bloodcurdling scream that must have sounded like a warriors attack cry to her. She totally lost it, and and began screaming, which frightened me even more, and for a few hilarious moments, doctor and patient were face to face, inches apart, screaming at the top of our lungs! Eventually, my assistant and I were laughing so hard we almost fell down. I think this relaxed the patient and we were actually able to finish our procedure. - Dr. Jeff W.

An old partner of mine, Dr. Dan J. had an emergency patient arrive at his first office for treatment. On his emergency short form there were a list of questions, such as have you experienced any pain or swelling? One question asked, "How long have you been in pain?" To which she responded, "All of my life!" - Dr. Craig C.